I’ve always been an athlete. I grew up playing every sport I could (except golf): soccer, football, wrestling, basketball, baseball, volleyball, and I BEASTED ultimate frisbee. My two favorite of all time were soccer and wrestling; soccer was freedom, comradery, and so much fun. Wrestling was discipline, teamwork, and triumph.
Some things learned in our youth carry throughout our life. I realized I didn’t just enjoy movement, I enjoyed movement that had purpose. Give me a team and a goal, we will conquer. By myself with no direction, I struggled.
When I got to college, I made the decision to prioritize my education over athletics. I gave college an honest try: I earned my BS in Biology and prepared for medical school. I was studying for the MCAT, on a clear path toward becoming a doctor, but during that process, something didn’t sit right with me.
I questioned the medical system deeply. I knew the science, but the philosophy was a whole new animal. Ethically, I did not believe in spending my life managing illnesses, most of which could have been prevented. I wanted to spend my life doing something that felt good ethically.
This realization changed everything.
So I walked away.
After college, I shifted again, but this time into an entirely different arena: modeling.
Everyone in their late teens and early 20’s wanted to find their space in the Fashion Modeling niche and to fit into that world, I lost a significant amount of weight. I was also vegan, so I leaned out, became more defined…and it worked. I was visually what the industry had ordered. Underneath, something was off and I didn’t realize it yet.
At the time, I didn’t fully understand nutrition, recovery, or balance. I was chasing a dream with a vision but not knowing how to support it. I knew the vision of what I wanted to be, but not how to support myself becoming this.
Yet, I kept moving. I moved from Atlanta to Las Vegas to Los Angeles. Each city wanted something different and if I chased after what would give me success in that area, I would be pulled back and forth in different directions. I never gave up hope, but my priorities and energy could not sustain this type of living…
And somewhere in that movement, I lost my consistency.
In Las Vegas, I rediscovered my love for soccer. A fire was ignited in me, some joy and freedom that I had missed for years. I organized games, built communities that still exist today, and I fit in with the competitive clubs. This was such a good feeling; who I thought I was once before was still alive at this moment, but behind the scenes, my body was breaking down. My vegan diet wasn’t supporting my activity, my nimerals were being depleeted playing competitive sports regularly in the dry Las Vegas atmosphere, and my recovery was nominal. I ignored the signs: leg cramps, fatigue, weakness.
Then came the moment…I ignored every warning sign until I had a full blown injury.
I tore my medial meniscus.
I didn’t stop. I told myself it wasn’t serious. I rested enough to feel better for a little while, but I never fully recovered. I went back to the field too soon and I injured myself again.
And again.
And again.
This cycle repeated over the course of 4 years:
Play → pain → partial rest → repeat.
Until one day… it didn’t recover.
That was the moment it became permanent.
And now, years later, I still think about it:
“Why didn’t I just rest?”
I never got an MRI.
Never got surgery.
Right now, I manage it by avoiding these known irritations:
I’ve had to relearn how to move, how to train, and how to respect my body.
For the first time in my life, I’m not training for performance; I’m training for longevity.
This injury forced me to confront something bigger than my knee: my relationship with discipline and what it means to live a balanced life. I was/am an intense person and I tend to over do it – I had to relearn patience. I have a lot of drive that is renewed every day – I had to relearn restraint. I know how to push past bounadaries and forge pathways to what I want, but I needed to know when it was appropriate to call a timeout.
And that imbalance cost me.
Now my training has evolved. I still move 5 days a week, but my intention has changed.
And I began documenting it, not because I have this incredible new way of doing something that will revolutionize the world…but needs to hear this, just like I did.
My “WHY” is more than just fitness; it’s about:
Because coaching is more than making children do some physical activity that they don’t really want to do, but coaching is a valuable skill that teaches one to be CLEAR in their speech, PRESENT when interacting with others, and clear on DIRECTION.
I’ve put this off for a long time. I’m building something that incorporates my body and voice. My goal is to be impactful to my audience. I’ve been alive for some time an I’ve spent years building for others, now I’m stepping forward as the value. The conditions are far from perfect (knee injury, limited resources), but what I have is my experience, my perspective, and my willingness to grow in the publics eye.
I once thought that strength meant the ability to pushing past any obstacle. Now I understand that strength is knowing when to pause and when to push…so that we can keep going for life.